Woman attacks husband for being bad in bed.

From News.com.au:

A US woman has been accused of stabbing her husband with scissors because she was unhappy with his performance in bed.

Michelle Thomas, 26, was arrested on Tuesday after police were called around 1am to the couple’s house in the east Texas town of Hudson, Lufkin Daily News reports.

The man told police Ms Thomas became angry with him after a sex session left her unsatisfied.

He said Ms Thomas grabbed a pair of scissors and began slashing him, according to court papers.

The court affidavit states police found the man with superficial cuts to his chest, thumb and knee.

Ms Thomas alleges her partner was drunk, threw her onto the bed and began choking her.

But police found no injuries on Ms Thomas, according to the affidavit.

The man said he only touched Ms Thomas during the sexual encounter.

Ms Thomas was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, although the man told officers he didn’t want to press charges, according to Lufkin Daily News.

Ms Thomas faces up to 20 years in jail.

New blanket saves stinky marriages.

From Orange:

A viral ad for a blanket made with activated carbon fabric to absorb the odour of flatulence has become an online hit.

The campaign for the so-called Better Marriage Blanket has been viewed more than a million times on YouTube.

The ad claims that the blanket, designed by Denver science teacher Francis Bibbois, is a "real solution to a very real problem".

Mr Bibbo apparently got the idea for the blanket when he was hunting in a suit made of similar materials and realised he could break wind undetected.

He created the prototype more than 15 years ago but the world is only now getting wind of it.

The machine washable blanket is said to completely absorb the smell of flatulence - and only needs washing every four years.

The product's website claims the blanket contains the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.

Phone software can now detect a broken heart.

Sounds cute, but companies are now using this against you when you call them, or they call you. From ABC News:

Less than two minutes into a cell phone conversation, a new computer program can predict a broken heart -- literally and figuratively.

An Israeli company called eXaudios has developed a computer program, known as Magnify, that decodes the human voice to identify a person's emotional state.

Some companies in the United States already use the system in their call centers. eXaudios is even testing the software's use in diagnosing medical conditions like autism, schizophrenia, heart disease and even prostate cancer.

"When agents talk with customers over the phone, they usually focus on content and not intonation, unless the customer is screaming," said Yoram Levanon, President and CEO of eXaudios, which recently won a $1 million prize at the Demo 2010 conference. "If a customer is screaming, you don't need the software. But if we can identify the other emotions of a customer, we can save customers and companies money."

When Discovery News' technology correspondent's voice was decoded using the Magnify software, the output read like a psychologist's notebook: "Struggling to contain an inner excitement. Keeping emotions and/or creativity in check. Warm and fuzzy."

Advertisers to rebrand beef as health food.

I wish I could go on a beefscape.... From AdWeek:

The nation’s beef producers want consumers to think "lean protein," as they launch a major ad campaign this week.

Known as the Beef Checkoff Program, the group is running print ads that pitch beef as a good source of protein and the variety of lean cuts it offers. Appropriately, the ads will carry the tagline: “29 lean cuts. One powerful protein.”

An ad for T-bone steak, for instance, shows a mouthwatering shot of the beef alongside grilled vegetables. “When all the steaks get together, they call this one boss,” the ad copy reads. This ad, along with others touting beef filets, ground beef, and top round, appear in this month’s issues of magazines like Bon Appetit, Cooking Light, Men’s Health and Self. Radio spots are also launching mid-month.

The Chicago office of Publicis Groupe-owned Leo Burnett handled advertising duties. Starcom is the Beef Checkoff Program’s media buying agency.

This is the first major campaign for the Beef Checkoff Program since its 2008 effort, dubbed “Beefscapes,” which touted beef as a good source of protein. Now, the group is focused on educating health-conscious consumers, said Kim Essex, svp, marketing at the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association, the organization that manages and executes the Beef Checkoff Program’s marketing plans.

“We’re on a storytelling journey with our ‘Beef. It’s what’s for dinner [campaign],’” Essex said, referring to the group’s iconic tagline. “We’re keeping those equities that are really recognizable to us,” but at the same time, stressing the lean side of beef, she said.

Chicago!

Hi guys, sorry I haven't posted lately, but I was vacationing in lovely Chicago - home of the generous definition of "pizza" and the unholy marriage between hot dogs and celery salt. I'd post pictures but left my camera at home. Suffice it to say, there were buildings and nice neighborhoods and the occasional park. Anyway, updates to recommence.

Prisoner hacks off own ear, escapes during trip to hospital.

From the Daily Mail:

A prisoner cut off part of his ear so he could escape from an ambulance on the way to hospital, Greater Manchester Police said today.

Michael O'Donnell, 28, told staff at Forest Bank prison in Salford at around 1.30am yesterday that he had been injured in his cell.

An ambulance was called to take him to Hope Hospital, also in Salford, but on the way four masked men pulled up in a stolen BMW.

They smashed the ambulance windows with baseball bats and bolt-cutters and O'Donnell, who was escorted by three prison guards, escaped.

He was handcuffed to one officer, who released him during the ambush.

O'Donnell was waiting to be sentenced for conspiracy to rob and commit burglary.

Johnny Depp foils mugger.

From the NY Post:

Johnny Depp isn't just a swashbuckler on screen.

The "Pirates of the Caribbean" star rescued a friend who was getting mugged in Los Angeles.

And when the bandit saw who had jumped into the fight, he said, "I ain't stealing from Captain Jack," The Sun in Britain reported.

The mugger, armed with a broken bottle, approached Depp's pal, British singer, Stephen Jones, and demanded money.

After Depp intervened, the thief dropped the weapon and the actor gave him some money -- and some advice: "Straighten up your life," the paper said.

Rush documentary wins Tribeca audience award.

It's a great doc. Everyone should see it - you, your loved ones, your goldfish, your evil robot arch-nemesis, EVERYONE. From a press release.

The ninth annual Tribeca Film Festival (TFF), co-founded by Robert De Niro, Jane Rosenthal and Craig Hatkoff, and presented by founding sponsor American Express, announced the winner of The Heineken Audience Award – “RUSH: Beyond the Lighted Stage” – tonight at The Altman Building in New York City. The film’s directors Scot McFadyen and Sam Dunn will receive a cash prize of $25,000.

Throughout the Festival, which kicked off on April 21, audiences have been able to vote for The Heineken Audience Award by completing nomination ballots upon exiting screenings of TFF films. Final results were tabulated and announced during this evening’s Festival wrap party.

“RUSH: Beyond the Lighted Stage” – a mesmerizing music documentary of the legendary Canadian band Rush – made its world premiere at this year’s Festival, capturing the hearts of fans and newcomers. In the film, directors McFadyen and Dunn embark on a comprehensive exploration of this extraordinary power trio, from their early days in Toronto through each of their landmark albums to the present day. Audiences were able to sit back and revel in the words, music and wonder of Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson and Neil Peart.

“The best documentary films are just great stories with characters who jump off the screen, and that is certainly the case with ‘RUSH: Beyond the Lighted Stage,’” said Nancy Schafer, Executive Director of the Tribeca Film Festival. “Scot and Sam have told a great story with their film, which is insightful and entertaining to audiences whether or not they are part of the band’s formidable fan base. An intimate but energetic portrayal of one of the most prolific rock bands, ‘RUSH: Beyond the Lighted Stage’ highlights the juxtaposition of music and film as an art form and we hope that Rush fans and audiences around the world embrace the film the way Tribeca audiences have.”

"Receiving the Heineken Audience Award at Tribeca means a lot to us as RUSH has always been a band of the people,” said directors McFadyen and Dunn. “It was great to see RUSH fans and non-fans enjoy the movie together.”

“What wonderful recognition for the hard and diligent work Sam and Scot did to bring this film to the public. We are so thrilled that they have received such a prestigious honor from the Tribeca Film Festival,” said Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson and Neil Peart of RUSH.