Okay, this isn't the greatest thing I've ever made, and not quite worth the effort, but it does have an interesting, vegetable-matter-composty taste. In a good way. Slightly adapted from the Gourmet recipe.
Zucchini Omelet
3 zucchinis
2 eggs
2 tsp fresh marjoram
1 tsp fresh thyme (optional)
2 TB Olive oil
1 TB Butter
Salt
Pepper
1. Trim the ends off the zucchinis and peel. Grate the zucchinis using the larger holes on the grater. Once grated, add some salt and let sit in a collander over your sink for 30 minutes. This will draw out excess water. But if you don't want to wait 30 minutes, just pat the zucchini dry, lightly salt, and move on.
2. Heat up the oil in a large pan and fry up the zucchini until golden. (If you didn't "sweat" the water out of them first, it'll be a little mushier and not fry as well.)
3. Remove from heat and put zucchini into a large bowl. Add the marjoram and thyme and let cool, about 10 minutes. While it cools, clean your pan and then melt the butter over low heat.
4. In the bowl with the zucchini, beat in the eggs and some fresh pepper. When the butter is sizzly, pour into the pan and cook as you would an omelet. (I recommend keeping the heat low and giving the omelet time to set before flipping it over.)
5. Even though it's only two eggs, this makes a massive, hearty omelet. The marjoram adds a Spring-like flowery taste that classes up the dish, making it something you could have for dinner or even to serve as smaller pancake-like rounds when entertaining (think Spanish tapas). This might also be good baked, frittata-style, if you're making a larger quantity.
6. The Gourmet recipe calls for it to be served at room temperature, but that's nasty.
Showing posts with label Koozer's Kitchen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Koozer's Kitchen. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Koozer's Kitchen: Sausage & Pappardelle
Here's a Coozer original. It came out pretty good, but feel free to do whatever you want to make it better. It takes no time at all, under 45 min, and only needs a pot and a pan. What you'll need:
4 hot Italian sausages
4 kielbasa sausages
3 onions
1 Granny Smith apple
1 1/2 cups of chicken broth
Pappardelle (I used 2 bags of the Trader Joe's version)
Olive oil
Salt
Pepper
Fennel seeds
1. Prep by slicing the sausages in thirds. If you don't have the exact kind above, don't worry, whateva. Also chop up two of the onions and slice the third one thickly and crosswise, like onion ring style.
2. Heat up some olive oil in a deep, big pan and fry the fennel seeds until they're popping. Then add the sausage, add some salt and pepper, and mix occasionally until browned on all sides.
3. Remove the sausage from the pan and put in a bowl. Keep the oil in the pan. Fry up the onions in the oil and let it cook on low-medium for 15 minutes or so, stirring occasionally.
4. While the onions are cooking, set a deep pot to boil with salted water. Also, peel, core, and finely chop a granny smith apple. When the onions are soft, add the chopped apple to the pan with the chicken broth. Simmer for awhile, and add more salt and pepper if you want.
5. When the water in the deep pot is boiling, add the pappardelle. Only cook for 8-10 min, but check frequently to make sure it's al dente.
6. At the same time, the apples and onions should be cooked pretty well. When the apples are soft, add the sausages to the pan and cook through. At that point, the pappardelle should be done. Drain, put back into pot, and pour in the pan mixture. Toss and serve with some dark beer!
4 hot Italian sausages
4 kielbasa sausages
3 onions
1 Granny Smith apple
1 1/2 cups of chicken broth
Pappardelle (I used 2 bags of the Trader Joe's version)
Olive oil
Salt
Pepper
Fennel seeds
1. Prep by slicing the sausages in thirds. If you don't have the exact kind above, don't worry, whateva. Also chop up two of the onions and slice the third one thickly and crosswise, like onion ring style.
2. Heat up some olive oil in a deep, big pan and fry the fennel seeds until they're popping. Then add the sausage, add some salt and pepper, and mix occasionally until browned on all sides.
3. Remove the sausage from the pan and put in a bowl. Keep the oil in the pan. Fry up the onions in the oil and let it cook on low-medium for 15 minutes or so, stirring occasionally.
4. While the onions are cooking, set a deep pot to boil with salted water. Also, peel, core, and finely chop a granny smith apple. When the onions are soft, add the chopped apple to the pan with the chicken broth. Simmer for awhile, and add more salt and pepper if you want.
5. When the water in the deep pot is boiling, add the pappardelle. Only cook for 8-10 min, but check frequently to make sure it's al dente.
6. At the same time, the apples and onions should be cooked pretty well. When the apples are soft, add the sausages to the pan and cook through. At that point, the pappardelle should be done. Drain, put back into pot, and pour in the pan mixture. Toss and serve with some dark beer!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Koozer's Kitchen: Chocolate Toffee Bars
To make this dessert you will need a lot of time on your hands and resistance toward diabetic shock. These bars are so sweet, they were once a diner waitress in Missoula with a sharp tongue but a heart of gold.
CHOCOLATE TOFFEE BARS O' DEATH
Okay, lots of steps here, so keep up.
1. Preheat oven to 350. I couldn't tell you which oven pan to use. Most people use shallow pans for bars, but I used something closer to a casserole dish. Use your best judgment. I can't do everything for you, you know. God, you're so needy.
2. In a bowl, cream together a stick and a half of butter, 3/4 cup of light brown sugar, packed, and 1 and a half cups of flour. Press down into the greased pan. Bake for 15 minutes or until it looks tan. Take out and let cool.
3. In a saucepan, melt together a can of sweetened condensed milk (take it out of the can first) and 2 tablespoons of butter. Heat for 5 minutes but don't boil, and keep stirring the whole time.
4. Pour and spread evenly over crush. Bake for 10-15 minutes, until golden. Take out and sprinkle a bag of milk chocolate chips over it. Put back in oven for 2-3 minutes, until chips are melty. Using a rubber spatula, spread around melted chocolate chips evenly.
5. Smash up some Skor bars or toffee pieces. Sprinkle evenly over chocolate and push down into chocolate using the spatula. Let cool. Put in fridge for an hour or so. Cut into bars and then put back in fridge for another hour.
6. Eat one and have the sugar rush equivalent to a Red Bull mixed with espresso mixed with the first time you ever listened to Motorhead.
CHOCOLATE TOFFEE BARS O' DEATH
Okay, lots of steps here, so keep up.
1. Preheat oven to 350. I couldn't tell you which oven pan to use. Most people use shallow pans for bars, but I used something closer to a casserole dish. Use your best judgment. I can't do everything for you, you know. God, you're so needy.
2. In a bowl, cream together a stick and a half of butter, 3/4 cup of light brown sugar, packed, and 1 and a half cups of flour. Press down into the greased pan. Bake for 15 minutes or until it looks tan. Take out and let cool.
3. In a saucepan, melt together a can of sweetened condensed milk (take it out of the can first) and 2 tablespoons of butter. Heat for 5 minutes but don't boil, and keep stirring the whole time.
4. Pour and spread evenly over crush. Bake for 10-15 minutes, until golden. Take out and sprinkle a bag of milk chocolate chips over it. Put back in oven for 2-3 minutes, until chips are melty. Using a rubber spatula, spread around melted chocolate chips evenly.
5. Smash up some Skor bars or toffee pieces. Sprinkle evenly over chocolate and push down into chocolate using the spatula. Let cool. Put in fridge for an hour or so. Cut into bars and then put back in fridge for another hour.
6. Eat one and have the sugar rush equivalent to a Red Bull mixed with espresso mixed with the first time you ever listened to Motorhead.
Koozer's Kitchen: Ricotta Gnocchi with Pesto
Okay, time for the big guns. This is how you get that barista girl to fall in love with you, since the kidnapping and Rush album rockathon didn't work. This gnocchi is so good, I've been mistaken for French (nevermind it's an Italian dish - my friends aren't smart).
LITTLE PILLOWS OF DOUGHY GOODNESS (w/ pesto)
PESTO
Start with the pesto; fridge it if you need to while making the gnocchi.
1. In a food processor, add two bunches of basil leaves, 2 garlic cloves, 3 or 4 oil-cured black olives, a pinch of hot pepper flakes, a handful of pine nuts, olive oil, and a bunch of arugula leaves. I blanch the arugula first to make it less bitter. To do so, boil water, throw arugula in for a minute, take out and run under cold water so it stops cooking, then wring out the arugula and get all the water out. That huge bunch of arugula will end up looking like a small cat turd. That's a good thing.
2. Process the mixture, adding olive oil as necessary.
3. Move to bowl and fold in 1/2 cup of grated pecorino romano.
GNOCCHI
I'm really bad with measurements. Try this out and keep extra flour and ricotta on hand to even it out. Too sticky, add flour. Too dry, add ricotta. Too boring, add 2 Fast 2 Furious.
1. Okay, don't sue me if these measurements suck or cause illness. Try 2 cups of flour (use good quality stuff, like King Arthur), 1/2 - 2/3 cup of grated pecorino romano, and a small tub of ricotta.
2. Use your hands and mix together. Don't overwork it - just knead it gently, like a young woman's buttocks. When it's a nice big ball of dough that isn't too sticky or too dry, take small slabs and roll out with your hands, pressing gently. Roll each slab into a chubby worm the thickness of a highlighter (man, where have I heard THAT before!). Take a butter knife and slice off at 1" intervals. They'll look like little pillows. If you want to get fancy, press down gently with a fork for that cool gnocchi pronged indent look.
3. Boil water. Throw in your gnocchi and keep an eye on it. As soon as the gnocchi start floating to the top, scoop out with a slotted spoon. Put on plate and mix with pesto. Laugh maniacally as people eat it. (You should laugh maniacally in any social setting.)
LITTLE PILLOWS OF DOUGHY GOODNESS (w/ pesto)
PESTO
Start with the pesto; fridge it if you need to while making the gnocchi.
1. In a food processor, add two bunches of basil leaves, 2 garlic cloves, 3 or 4 oil-cured black olives, a pinch of hot pepper flakes, a handful of pine nuts, olive oil, and a bunch of arugula leaves. I blanch the arugula first to make it less bitter. To do so, boil water, throw arugula in for a minute, take out and run under cold water so it stops cooking, then wring out the arugula and get all the water out. That huge bunch of arugula will end up looking like a small cat turd. That's a good thing.
2. Process the mixture, adding olive oil as necessary.
3. Move to bowl and fold in 1/2 cup of grated pecorino romano.
GNOCCHI
I'm really bad with measurements. Try this out and keep extra flour and ricotta on hand to even it out. Too sticky, add flour. Too dry, add ricotta. Too boring, add 2 Fast 2 Furious.
1. Okay, don't sue me if these measurements suck or cause illness. Try 2 cups of flour (use good quality stuff, like King Arthur), 1/2 - 2/3 cup of grated pecorino romano, and a small tub of ricotta.
2. Use your hands and mix together. Don't overwork it - just knead it gently, like a young woman's buttocks. When it's a nice big ball of dough that isn't too sticky or too dry, take small slabs and roll out with your hands, pressing gently. Roll each slab into a chubby worm the thickness of a highlighter (man, where have I heard THAT before!). Take a butter knife and slice off at 1" intervals. They'll look like little pillows. If you want to get fancy, press down gently with a fork for that cool gnocchi pronged indent look.
3. Boil water. Throw in your gnocchi and keep an eye on it. As soon as the gnocchi start floating to the top, scoop out with a slotted spoon. Put on plate and mix with pesto. Laugh maniacally as people eat it. (You should laugh maniacally in any social setting.)
Koozer's Kitchen: Crispy Tofu
Tofu is wonderfully versatile. You can use it as both packing material AND as adhesive. But did you know you can also eat it? It's true! Just fry the hell out of it, the Coozer way.
CRISPY TOFU YOU CAN INGEST
1. Put your oven rack thingy close to the top. Preheat the oven at 400.
2. Pat dry a brick of extra firm tofu. Slice somewhat thin (maybe 1/4 - 1/2" thin, I dunno), and put on lightly greased cookie sheet. Put in oven for 15 minutes, flipping over halfway. Take out of oven and let cool.
3. In a small bowl, mix two egg whites with a couple of tablespoons of Japanese or Korean barbecue sauce. (I used tonkatsu sauce.) In another bowl, add flour. (Or use breadcrumbs or panko if you want. Whatever man, I don't care. Gosh!)
4. Pour oil 1/2" deep in pan. (I used sunflower oil because it doesn't exude too much flavor and it's not as unhealthy as canola.) Heat super hot. Dip the tofu slices first in the egg/bbq mixture and then the flour. Fry, and watch out for spurting oil!
5. Fry on both sides til brown and crispy. Dry off the pieces on paper towels. When a little cool, brush on some more bbq sauce, then put in oven again for 5-10 minutes. I know, crazy!
6. Remove, put on plate, and add a nice dipping sauce. I went with some crazy spicy Chinese sauce. I don't know the name of it, or what exactly it was, because the label was in Chinese. It could've been children's toys melted with asbestos and lead. But I threw some sesame seeds in there and it rocked.
CRISPY TOFU YOU CAN INGEST
1. Put your oven rack thingy close to the top. Preheat the oven at 400.
2. Pat dry a brick of extra firm tofu. Slice somewhat thin (maybe 1/4 - 1/2" thin, I dunno), and put on lightly greased cookie sheet. Put in oven for 15 minutes, flipping over halfway. Take out of oven and let cool.
3. In a small bowl, mix two egg whites with a couple of tablespoons of Japanese or Korean barbecue sauce. (I used tonkatsu sauce.) In another bowl, add flour. (Or use breadcrumbs or panko if you want. Whatever man, I don't care. Gosh!)
4. Pour oil 1/2" deep in pan. (I used sunflower oil because it doesn't exude too much flavor and it's not as unhealthy as canola.) Heat super hot. Dip the tofu slices first in the egg/bbq mixture and then the flour. Fry, and watch out for spurting oil!
5. Fry on both sides til brown and crispy. Dry off the pieces on paper towels. When a little cool, brush on some more bbq sauce, then put in oven again for 5-10 minutes. I know, crazy!
6. Remove, put on plate, and add a nice dipping sauce. I went with some crazy spicy Chinese sauce. I don't know the name of it, or what exactly it was, because the label was in Chinese. It could've been children's toys melted with asbestos and lead. But I threw some sesame seeds in there and it rocked.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Koozer's Kitchen: Farro Salad
Salads can be stupid. In addition, we're on the brink of autumn, when craisins and caramelized pears start appearing on our salad plates as if they were vegetables (they're not!). But I decided to keep summer going with a farro salad - the least stupid salad of them all!
FARRO SALAD FOR SMART PEOPLE
These amounts refer to a 15 oz. packet of farro, which feeds a LOT of people, or a few very fat people.
1. Put farro in big soup pot. Add 5 1/2 cups of water. Let sit for 20 minutes or so. I recommend watching a DVR'd episode of X-Play.
2. Bring to boil, then cover and simmer on low heat for 20 minutes or longer. You want the farro to be tender, but still hearty and nutty, like my crotch. When it's done, remove from heat, drain any extra water, and move to a big salad bowl. Let sit, the put in fridge to cool off.
3. While it's cooling in the fridge, add the following to another bowl: one red onion, thinly sliced; four tomatoes, seeded and chopped; one large, phallic-like cucumber, peeled and small diced; two celery stalks, small diced; 20 or so basil leaves, ripped; maybe 1/2 bunch of curly parsley, pulled off the stems and chopped.
4. When the farro is cold, toss in the veggies and herbs and drizzle in olive oil and red wine vinegar. I put a lot in, but if you're a pussy, start with a little and add to taste.
5. Serve to your neighbors while they patiently wait. Meanwhile, have your girlfriend ransack their apartment. Sell their jewelry for more farro.
FARRO SALAD FOR SMART PEOPLE
These amounts refer to a 15 oz. packet of farro, which feeds a LOT of people, or a few very fat people.
1. Put farro in big soup pot. Add 5 1/2 cups of water. Let sit for 20 minutes or so. I recommend watching a DVR'd episode of X-Play.
2. Bring to boil, then cover and simmer on low heat for 20 minutes or longer. You want the farro to be tender, but still hearty and nutty, like my crotch. When it's done, remove from heat, drain any extra water, and move to a big salad bowl. Let sit, the put in fridge to cool off.
3. While it's cooling in the fridge, add the following to another bowl: one red onion, thinly sliced; four tomatoes, seeded and chopped; one large, phallic-like cucumber, peeled and small diced; two celery stalks, small diced; 20 or so basil leaves, ripped; maybe 1/2 bunch of curly parsley, pulled off the stems and chopped.
4. When the farro is cold, toss in the veggies and herbs and drizzle in olive oil and red wine vinegar. I put a lot in, but if you're a pussy, start with a little and add to taste.
5. Serve to your neighbors while they patiently wait. Meanwhile, have your girlfriend ransack their apartment. Sell their jewelry for more farro.
Koozer's Kitchen: E-Z Pita Chips
I told you how to make pretty decent tahiti-less hummus. But what are you going to serve it with - baby carrots?? LAME. Here's what you do:
E-Z PITA CHIPS
1. Preheat oven to 375. Cut pita bread into triangle wedges, as if you were cutting a pizza. Put pita wedges on a cookie sheet.
2. In a bowl, mix together 1/4 - 1/2 cup of olive oil, and 1/2 teaspoon each of dried basil, dried oregano, and black pepper. Add salt and garlic powder to taste (don't use too much garlic powder or people will think you're a jackass).
3. Brush pita pieces on both sides with the oil mixture. Bake until crispy, but not so crispy that people hate you. Serve with hummus or throw em at cars!
E-Z PITA CHIPS
1. Preheat oven to 375. Cut pita bread into triangle wedges, as if you were cutting a pizza. Put pita wedges on a cookie sheet.
2. In a bowl, mix together 1/4 - 1/2 cup of olive oil, and 1/2 teaspoon each of dried basil, dried oregano, and black pepper. Add salt and garlic powder to taste (don't use too much garlic powder or people will think you're a jackass).
3. Brush pita pieces on both sides with the oil mixture. Bake until crispy, but not so crispy that people hate you. Serve with hummus or throw em at cars!
Koozer's Kitchen: Zesty Hummus
If you're just reading this for the news items and/or snarky comments, then you have no idea that I'm a WORLD FAMOUS CHEF (in my own mind). The parents are coming by tonight to watch the Mets-Braves doubleheader and visit their grandson, Rusty. So I'll be coming up a bunch of things and will blog my recipes as I do them (unless I get too drunk - I guzzle wine while cooking).
FYI - my stepdad is a veggiehead, so doing a meatless thing tonight. Don't worry folks - I'll eat twice the veal tomorrow.
Okay, so just made some kick-ass hummus and it took a whopping 5 minutes. Here's how:
COOZER'S ZESTY HUMMUS
1. Set up food processer. Open a can of chickpeas, drain liquid out. Add chickpeas to processer.
2. Add two garlic cloves (halved), a little salt, a couple of sprigs of parsley, and maybe 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon each of cumin and hot pepper flakes (I use these crazy-hot flakes I picked up from Sripraphai, the best Thai place in NYC [and probably the best restaurant, period]).
3. Squeeze half a lemon in there, or a whole lemon if you like your hummus lemony. Pour in some olive oil.
4. Process for a minute or so - keep adding olive oil if it's too chunky.
5. Now here's where I added the Coozer touch. I never have tahini or sesame paste on me (though it would be funny if I kept some in my pockets), so I had the idea to add a tablespoon of sour cream. Holy shit. It totally gave my hummus that creaminess I always attributed to tahini or a disgruntled Greek chef's bodily fluids. Tablespoon of sour cream. Try it out.
6. Process some more until creamy. Scoop out in a bowl for dipping, or if you wanna get fancy - spread out on a plate, drizzle olive oil around the perimeter, and on the center, garnish with parsley sprigs, a handful of mixed olives, and a dash of paprika and pepper.
7. Hot damn, you just made a fancy shmancy hummus and it took you 5 minutes! Reward yourself with internet porn and booze.
FYI - my stepdad is a veggiehead, so doing a meatless thing tonight. Don't worry folks - I'll eat twice the veal tomorrow.
Okay, so just made some kick-ass hummus and it took a whopping 5 minutes. Here's how:
COOZER'S ZESTY HUMMUS
1. Set up food processer. Open a can of chickpeas, drain liquid out. Add chickpeas to processer.
2. Add two garlic cloves (halved), a little salt, a couple of sprigs of parsley, and maybe 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon each of cumin and hot pepper flakes (I use these crazy-hot flakes I picked up from Sripraphai, the best Thai place in NYC [and probably the best restaurant, period]).
3. Squeeze half a lemon in there, or a whole lemon if you like your hummus lemony. Pour in some olive oil.
4. Process for a minute or so - keep adding olive oil if it's too chunky.
5. Now here's where I added the Coozer touch. I never have tahini or sesame paste on me (though it would be funny if I kept some in my pockets), so I had the idea to add a tablespoon of sour cream. Holy shit. It totally gave my hummus that creaminess I always attributed to tahini or a disgruntled Greek chef's bodily fluids. Tablespoon of sour cream. Try it out.
6. Process some more until creamy. Scoop out in a bowl for dipping, or if you wanna get fancy - spread out on a plate, drizzle olive oil around the perimeter, and on the center, garnish with parsley sprigs, a handful of mixed olives, and a dash of paprika and pepper.
7. Hot damn, you just made a fancy shmancy hummus and it took you 5 minutes! Reward yourself with internet porn and booze.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Gone Blintzin'
I haven't been posting much today - an alarmingly rare occurrence in my four days of blogging.
The reason is culinary, familial, and religious. I have been making blintzes since 2 pm. (It is now after midnight, when I should be turning the lights down low for sweet, sweet looooove. Mmm, redtube....)
I explained a few days ago why my life has become focused on blintzes instead of more important obsessions like social justice, power rock trio Rush, and/or Jeff Goldblum. Long story short, tomorrow is the big day where I unleash my Crepes of Canaan upon the world.
I made six different blintz fillings tonight (as well as a faro salad). I won't get into them all, but the most irritating and probably least good (and yet my proudest achievement in spite, or perhaps because of that) was a chicken chile concoction. Shit is disgusting but I enjoyed making it, even though it'll be too spicy and nasty for my family. Here's what I did:
COOZER'S CHICKEN CHILE BLINTZ FILLING
1) I threw three chicken breasts into a pot and covered them with broth. Also threw in a quartered onion, 3 or 4 cloves of garlic, and a handful of cilantro. I set that shit to boil.
2) Meanwhile, I took a jalapeno and one of those cool, long, twisted green peppers and roasted them in the oven on 350. I promptly forgot about them for half an hour.
3) When the pot of chicken started boiling, I covered and simmered for 8 or so minutes, then removed from heat and kept covered for 20 minutes or so.
4) I dusted off my blender and threw in the peppers, which were blackened and cool looking. (You're supposed to take the skin off, and also try to gut out the seeds and membrane so they're not too insanely hot - but I didn't bother because I'm lazy and unskilled at that sort of thing.) I also added to the blender a cup of chicken broth from the pot, and also threw in some fresh cilantro and an entire small container of sour cream. I blended for 10 seconds or so and voila! Frothy, spicy, liquid death.
5) Once the chicken had cooled, I began pulling them into small strips. Holy shit, that was annoying. I never gave much thought to shredded chicken or pulled pork and had assumed there was some amazing machine that did that for you. Is there? Please buy me one.
6) 500 years later, I was done shredding the chicken by hand. I put the chicken into a container, poured in just enough spicy brothy liquid to cover it, and set in the fridge. Tomorrow, I'll shove that shit into a blintz, and garnish with pepper jack. Too bad no one will eat it, because my family's idea of spiciness is oregano.
7) Because I handled hot peppers tonight by hand, I'm too afraid to, ah, bop the bishop. "No glove, no love" indeed.
The reason is culinary, familial, and religious. I have been making blintzes since 2 pm. (It is now after midnight, when I should be turning the lights down low for sweet, sweet looooove. Mmm, redtube....)
I explained a few days ago why my life has become focused on blintzes instead of more important obsessions like social justice, power rock trio Rush, and/or Jeff Goldblum. Long story short, tomorrow is the big day where I unleash my Crepes of Canaan upon the world.
I made six different blintz fillings tonight (as well as a faro salad). I won't get into them all, but the most irritating and probably least good (and yet my proudest achievement in spite, or perhaps because of that) was a chicken chile concoction. Shit is disgusting but I enjoyed making it, even though it'll be too spicy and nasty for my family. Here's what I did:
COOZER'S CHICKEN CHILE BLINTZ FILLING
1) I threw three chicken breasts into a pot and covered them with broth. Also threw in a quartered onion, 3 or 4 cloves of garlic, and a handful of cilantro. I set that shit to boil.
2) Meanwhile, I took a jalapeno and one of those cool, long, twisted green peppers and roasted them in the oven on 350. I promptly forgot about them for half an hour.
3) When the pot of chicken started boiling, I covered and simmered for 8 or so minutes, then removed from heat and kept covered for 20 minutes or so.
4) I dusted off my blender and threw in the peppers, which were blackened and cool looking. (You're supposed to take the skin off, and also try to gut out the seeds and membrane so they're not too insanely hot - but I didn't bother because I'm lazy and unskilled at that sort of thing.) I also added to the blender a cup of chicken broth from the pot, and also threw in some fresh cilantro and an entire small container of sour cream. I blended for 10 seconds or so and voila! Frothy, spicy, liquid death.
5) Once the chicken had cooled, I began pulling them into small strips. Holy shit, that was annoying. I never gave much thought to shredded chicken or pulled pork and had assumed there was some amazing machine that did that for you. Is there? Please buy me one.
6) 500 years later, I was done shredding the chicken by hand. I put the chicken into a container, poured in just enough spicy brothy liquid to cover it, and set in the fridge. Tomorrow, I'll shove that shit into a blintz, and garnish with pepper jack. Too bad no one will eat it, because my family's idea of spiciness is oregano.
7) Because I handled hot peppers tonight by hand, I'm too afraid to, ah, bop the bishop. "No glove, no love" indeed.
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