Earth's atmosphere is leaking into space.

Great, as if we didn't have enough to worry about... From Universe Today:

Oxygen is constantly leaking out of Earth's atmosphere and into space. Measurements taken by satellites during the 1980s and 1990s showed the escaping ions were traveling faster the higher they were observed. This implied that some sort of acceleration mechanism was involved. Now, new work on data collected by a group of formation-flying satellites called Cluster shows that Earth’s own magnetic field is accelerating the oxygen away. But don't worry, compared to the Earth’s stock of the life-supporting gas, the amount escaping is negligible. However, in the far future when the Sun begins to heat up in old age, the balance might change and the oxygen escape may become significant.

Kathie Lee Gifford mocks Asians on TV.

Kathie Lee Gifford, not the brightest bulb in the.. umm.. bulb store, puts on a "Chinese" accent and slits her eyes to tell some stupid story. Here is the Asian American Journalists Association's letter to NBC News:

It's difficult to believe in this day and age, and immediately following an Olympics hosted by China, that "Today" host Kathie Lee Gifford chose to relate on national television an "amusing" anecdote about Al Roker sending birthday greetings to her in a mock "Chinese" accent.

If that weren't bad enough, Gifford decided to spice up her performance by squinting her eyes into slits. Gifford's performance had all the wit and subtlety of a schoolyard taunt. All that were missing were the buck teeth and Coke-bottle glasses.

I suppose she could defend herself by pointing out her name IS Lee....

Iran: Attack on us will cause World War III.

Doubtful. It's a Coozer Prophesy that the next world war will be between the world and Canada, and it'll be over clean water and/or Moose Munch.

Should Israel or the United States attack Iran, it would be the start of another World War, Iranian Deputy chief of staff General Masoud Jazayeri warned on Saturday.

"Any aggression against Iran will start a world war," the Iranian state news agency IRNA quoted the top Iranian official as saying. "The unrestrained greed of the US leadership and global Zionism... is leading the world to the edge of a precipice."

"It is evident that if such a challenge occurs, the fake and artificial regimes will be eliminated before anything," he said.

The news agency also quoted Jordan's King Abdullah II as saying that if an attack was launched against Iran, it would fail to achieve its objectives.

Rest of the article here.

Tecmo Bowl players to have spiky hair, giant swords.

Square Enix has offered a "friendly" takeover of Tecmo. How can a hostile takeover be friendly? You'll find out when you've summoned a Level 40 Bahamut.

25% of gas stations in NY overcharge.

From the Consumerist:

New York's Attorney General, Andrew Cuomo, is warning consumers after an undercover investigation found that 25% of gas stations are engaging in "deceptive practices, including wrongfully surcharging credit card customers." The AG says that under New York state law, retailers are not allowed to impose surcharges for using a credit card.

The AG also said that the stations were engaging in false advertising by only listing the lower cash prices on signs, leading to nasty surprises for consumers once they parked at the pump.

Candy Addict continues its noble experiment.

Once again, Candy Addict smothers household items in chocolate to discover new epically chocolicious combinations. This time, they raise the bar (and bile) with sundried tomatoes and roasted garlic. The results may shock you.

Special 200th Post Extravaganza!!

200 posts in under a month. I think I've hit a new record for boredom and spare time.

So what do you think about this place and these posts? Your kind of thing? Do you dig the political stuff, the offbeat news, the science-y things? The close watch on our future zombie masters? The scrumptious recipes I was gonna post but never did? Talk to me, O silent Coozer-Philes!!

Nun beauty pageant canceled.

I think what I love most about this story is that the priest wanted to hold the contest on his blog.

An Italian priest who planned to hold the world's first beauty contest for nuns has decided to cancel the pageant after complaints.

Antonio Rungi wanted to host the called Miss Sister Italy contest to end the stereotype of nuns being old and dour, reports the BBC.

He wanted to hold the contest online on his internet blog but changed his mind after the local religious authorities expressed their displeasure.

Slimelight to reopen?

Oh, good lord. According the Village Voice's blog, the church-turned-dance club/pharmaceutical factory may reopen. I have mixed (and fuzzy) memories of the Limelight from the early 90s. The good: Seeing some cool shows there, like Mr. Bungle and one particularly memorable hardcore show. The bad: Being asked at the door if I had drugs. And when saying no, being pressured into buying some from said doorman.

Brain chemical linked to strong appetities, obesity.

Good news for always-hungry people like me. (I drown my tummy pangs with coffee and booze.) From the NIH:

A brain chemical that plays a role in long term memory also appears to be involved in regulating how much people eat and their likelihood of becoming obese, according to a National Institutes of Health study of a rare genetic condition.

Brain derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) is, as its name implies, produced in the brain. Studies of laboratory animals have suggested it also helps control appetite and weight. The NIH study, appearing in the August 28 New England Journal of Medicine, provides the first strong evidence that BDNF is important for body weight in human beings as well.

Least surprising celebrity news.

David Duchovny can't keep his little grey alien in his pants.

I dunno, I always got that vibe off him. That's what makes him awesome.

Rat meat in demand.

Poor mousies...

The price of rat meat has quadrupled in Cambodia this year as inflation has put other meat beyond the reach of poor people, officials said on Wednesday.

With consumer price inflation at 37 percent according to the latest central bank estimate, demand has pushed a kilogram of rat meat up to around 5,000 riel ($1.28) from 1,200 riel last year.

Spicy field rat dishes with garlic thrown in have become particularly popular at a time when beef costs 20,000 riel a kg.

Cocaine and Ecstasy deaths in UK up 1,200% thanks to Amy Winehouse.

Amy Winehouse's #1 hit was probably a speedball injection. But she can also be proud of creating a country-wide drug epidemic.

Halliburton sued for human trafficking.

Is there anything these dicks won't do for money? From Raw Story:

Thirteen Nepali men were recruited and held against their will for thirteen months in a human trafficking scheme engineered and perpetrated by Halliburton and its Jordanian contractor, according to a lawsuit filed yesterday in California federal court.

The Nepali men, each between the ages of 18 and 27, were allegedly hired as kitchen staff by the then-Halliburton subsidiary KBR and its Jordanian subcontractor, Daoud & Partners. Once they arrived in Jordan, however, their passports were seized and they were dispatched to Iraq.

"Tragically, as the men were being transported to Iraq, a car containing twelve of the men was stopped by members of the Ansar al-Sunna Army, an insurgent group," the Washington lawfirm Cohen, Milstein, Hausfeld & Toll writes. "The 12 men in the car were taken hostage and executed by the insurgents. The executions were filmed and posted on the Internet. The Inspector General for the United States Department of Defense investigated and confirmed the facts related to the fate of the 12 men, which led to increased enforcement of anti-trafficking measures by the United States."

Only one man survived. After he was released by Iraqi rebels, he said he was assigned to work as a loader/unloader in a US military warehouse facility supervised by KBR. He asserts that he was held for 15 months against his well, before the firm finally allowed him to return home to Nepal.

Scientists: Our eyes evolved for X-Ray vision!

My 12-year-old dreams have finally become true! Now if only there were a girls' locker room here...

The advantage of using two eyes to see the world around us has long been associated solely with our capacity to see in 3-D. Now, a new study from a scientist at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute has uncovered a truly eye-opening advantage to binocular vision: our ability to see through things.

[...] Demonstrating our X-ray ability is fairly simple: hold a pen vertically and look at something far beyond it. If you first close one eye, and then the other, you'll see that in each case the pen blocks your view. If you open both eyes, however, you can see through the pen to the world behind it.

To demonstrate how our eyes allow us to see through clutter, hold up all of your fingers in random directions, and note how much of the world you can see beyond them when only one eye is open compared to both. You miss out on a lot with only one eye open, but can see nearly everything behind the clutter with both.

Read the article - there's interesting stuff in there about how eyes evolved for different animals and why. Kinda cool.

Pete Wentz on politics.

CNN threw some softballs at Pete Wentz, whose craptastic emo band played Rock the Vote. I found this part nauseating on multiple levels:

CNN.com: So what do the Democrats need to do to win the White House, do you think?

Wentz: I actually learned this from the person I got tennis lessons from that Democrats or the Republicans need not only to win the White House but you need to maintain the majority in the government in general in order to get things moving.

Just... wow.

Bloomberg announces park is safe while junkies shoot up nearby.

Whoops. From The Post:

Just several hundred feet from where Mayor Bloomberg was proclaiming that the renovated High Bridge Park in Washington Heights is now safe, a parks advocate yesterday said he stumbled upon two drug addicts shooting up.

"I told them, 'I'm just walking by, I'm not the cops,' " recalled Geoffrey Croft, adding that he had the encounter in a wooded area while taking a shortcut to the mayor's press conference nearby.

Old woman misunderstands instructions at airport, goes down baggage chute.

From Breitbart:

An elderly woman misunderstood instructions while checking in at Sweden's main airport and was whisked down a baggage shoot after she placed herself instead of her luggage on the belt, media reported Wednesday.

The 78-year-old woman, who was not named, was preparing to fly from Stockholm's Arlanda airport to Germany on Tuesday when she lay down on an unmanned baggage belt in the belief she was following check-in instructions, the Upsala Nya Tidning local daily reported on its website.

Dumbass.

Zoo student intern opens giant python cage, gets swallowed head-first.

Stupid intern. From The Independent:

A three-metre (10ft) python has killed a student zookeeper who let the snake out of its enclosure in Venezuela while working a night shift at the zoo.

Horrified colleagues at the Caracas zoo had to beat the snake to make it release the body of Erick Arrieta, whose head it was swallowing, local media reported.

Marks on the biology student's wrist suggested the snake had bitten him before crushing him to death.

The intern, 29, had been supervising the section alone when he broke zoo rules by opening the snake's cage, according to press reports.

Cats in China grow angel wings.

If this story is real, the weird thing is that the cats weren't born with these wings as an odd genetic defect, but grew them suddenly as a result of their environment, which seems strange and unlikely.

In any case, very cute but also pretty weird.

Pro-veg TV ad maligns hot dogs, raises false cancer fears.

The mighty hot dog is one of our nation's most perfect foods. After all, it contains just about all of God's creatures. But a new tv ad running in major cities links hot dogs with cancer, which the American Cancer Society and the hot dog lobby are calling a silly scare tactic.

How nutty is the ad? At one point, a little boy "hauntingly laments" while eating a hot dog: "I was dumbfounded when the doctor told me I have late-stage colon cancer."

WTF.

I'm sympathetic to most campaigns by veggieheads and animal rights activists, even gross/creepy ads, but this unprovoked attack on the hot dog cannot stand! Grab your wiener and wave it proudly in the air!!!

Cops: Man planned to use puffer fish poison.

Police arrested a man for possessing puffer fish poison, or tetrodotoxin, to be used as a weapon. Now it's been awhile since I've seen The Serpent And The Rainbow (okay, I saw it three days ago), but wasn't tetrodotoxin one of the ingredients used for ZOMBIE POTIONS?!!

This crazy dude had 40 VIALS of it. He wasn't trying to kill anyone. He was trying to create an ARMY OF THE UNDEAD!

"100 Things To Do Before You Die" author dies.

Young guy - only 47. He was so young, he only did half the things in his book!

From the Daily News:

The co-author of the popular travel adventure book "100 Things to do Before You Die" has died.

Dave Freeman passed away on Aug. 17 after a fall in his Venice home, the 47-year-old writer's father confirmed to the Los Angeles Times.

The "100 Things" theme inspired countless readers to do things like attend the Academy Awards and travel to exotic locales.

"This life is a short journey," the book read. "How can you make sure you fill it with the most fun and that you visit all the coolest places on earth before you pack those bags for the very last time?"

According to his family, Freeman had visited nearly half of the places on his list before his passing.

Robot Uprising Watch: MIT gives computers human-like pattern recognition.

Scary news from MIT:

Humans have a natural tendency to find order in sets of information, a skill that has proven difficult to replicate in computers. Faced with a large set of data, computers don't know where to begin -- unless they're programmed to look for a specific structure, such as a hierarchy, linear order, or a set of clusters.

Now, in an advance that may impact the field of artificial intelligence, a new model developed at MIT can help computers recognize patterns the same way that humans do. The model, reported earlier this month in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, can analyze a set of data and figure out which type of organizational structure best fits it.

I'm pretty sure this is how Terminator started out.

Magnetic fields affect cattle, deer.

In recent years, we've learned that birds and bats are helped around by magnetic fields. This new study shows that larger animals, like cattle and deer, are also affected by magnetic fields, which explains why they graze eerily in a north-south alignment. Scientists are now wondering if all animals have this hidden sixth magnetic sense. Or as I like to call it, animal magnetism. *winka wink*

Mysterious death of woman, just before her testimony in two criminal cases, ruled accidental.

About to testify against the man who raped her, and against another man who beat and kidnapped his girlfriend, Joy Blackman was found dead in an alley way. Authorities preliminarily ruled it accidental, and have now confirmed it to be an accident.

But Newsday's report today on the ruling raises eyebrows, quoting cops, investigators, and the medical examiner, who all think the death was suspicious.

I just wonder if the authorities would've treated this case differently, perhaps not have closed the book so quickly, had the woman not been homeless and a drug user. In any case, because of her death, all rape charges were dismissed against her attacker.

Coozer-Bits

Breitbart: Firefighters return to station to find it ablaze.

Chicago Sun-Times: Rising ocean burying coastal villages.

Chicago Tribune: 13-y.o. girl beats the crap out of school administrator during a disciplinary meeting.

NY Times: Huge protests in Thailand; Thai government offices stormed and besieged.

Huffington Post: UN accuses US troops of killing Afghan civilians.

LiveScience: Awesome monkey news of the day!

New Scientist: Pollutants are messing up birds' mating songs.

NY Post: The cooling system at Indian Point nuclear power plant kills over a BILLION fish each year.

The Independent: Homophobic Vatican digging up corpse of cardinal who was buried, per his wishes, with the man he loved

International Herald Tribune: 20% of US soldiers in combat have gotten at least mild head injuries.

Obama assassination attempt by white supremacists thwarted.

Yipes.

An alleged racist sniper plot to assassinate Barack Obama has been uncovered. Four people, including a woman have been arrested over the alleged plot.

[...] U.S. law enforcement sources said one of the suspects had admitted travelling to Denver to kill the first African-American to be nominated for president.

The shooting was allegedly planned for Thursday, when the White House hopeful will be in the city to formally accept his party's nomination for the November elections.

His speech is due to be made at the 75,000-seat Invesco stadium and the shooting would have been from a distance of at least 750 yards in front of almost 100,000 people.

What I find fascinating/scary is that the plot wasn't uncovered by super-competent anti-terror agents, or by Secret Service, or by the heavy spying/eavesdropping I had imagined would be taking place.

The alleged plot was thwarted by local traffic police on a routine patrol. It came to light on Sunday when the officers stopped a pick-up truck driving erratically in Aurora, less than 20 miles from the Democrats' convention venue.

Two high-powered rifles with telescopic sights were found when police searched the rented Dodge truck, which was being driven by 28-year-old Tharin Gartrell.

They also found camouflage clothing, walkie-talkies, a bulletproof vest, licences in the names of other people and the drug methamphetamine. One of the rifles was listed as stolen from Kansas.

Obama not winning unions because they're filled with racists.

Hey, I didn't say it. This article did.

Karen Ackerman, political director for the AFL-CIO, acknowledged that Obama’s race is an important factor for some union members.

“This race is very complicated because there is an African-American candidate for president,” said Ackerman. “We feel there is a racial component for some union members, but we’re confident we can overcome that.”

Some in the labor movement say that Obama’s race has made it difficult for a significant number of union members to support him over Sen. John McCain (Ariz.), the presumptive GOP nominee.

Good job, working class. Way to vote against yourselves.

Canadian bike thief stole thousands of bikes, finally caught.

I always had a feeling that all crime in Canada could be attributed to just one or two people. In this case, a bike store owner in Toronto was caught stealing a bike. When cops raided his store, home, and storage lockers/garages, they found 3,000 stolen bikes in his possession. 3,000!! If you stole one bike a day, it would take over 8 years to steal that many.

I hope this guy has a good SPOKESman. Get it? Because bikes have spokes? Oh man, that's rich.

New heart device includes tiny propeller.

By propeller, they mean an apparatus closer to a turbine, but how could cool would it be if your heart could burst out of your chest and fly around the room, doing loop-de-loops? I'd pay money to see that. BLOOD money.

Here's the article, but it's more fun to imagine old timey heart planes.

Woman tries to abduct virtual boyfriend/lion.

This is precisely why I eschew technology, relationships, Tasers, and people. And virtual lions.

I found this part interesting:

Kimberly Jernigan is not the first person to allegedly blur their virtual and real lives, and her case presents one of the myriad problems that can arise when the two worlds collide.

Last year, a 48-year-old man in upstate New York was sentenced to 20 years in prison for killing a rival for the affections of a woman he'd never met. Thomas Montgomery reportedly posed online as an 18-year-old Marine and started an Internet relationship with a middle-aged woman from West Virginia, who was, herself, posing as an 18-year-old student.

Is there ANYONE online who isn't middle-aged and creepy?

Amazing fountain in Japan.

Fountain, art installation, magic? Whatever it is, it makes the Bellagio look like a limp puddle of dog drool.



(Thanks Jen!)

Barenaked Ladies survive plane crash.

They should've listened to their Toronto brethren Rush and only ride in red Barchettas. Story here.

Kitty Genovese 2.0

In Queens, neighbors ignored a woman's screams for help for 30 minutes after she was stabbed. She later died.

10 first aid mistakes.

Some good tips from Newsweek.

This one is new to me:

3. Burns.
Don't apply ice or butter or any other type of grease to burns. Also, don't cover a burn with a towel or blanket, because loose fibers might stick to the skin. When dealing with a serious burn, be careful not to break any blisters or pull off clothing stuck to the skin.

No ice on burns? Who knew!

Heavy metal causes genetic mutations.

This may explain the bumps on Lemmy's face.

According to this release, "heavy metal pollutants are linked to genetic mutations, stunted growth and declining fertility among small crustaceans in the Parramatta River, the main tributary of Sydney Harbour, new research shows.

"The finding adds to mounting evidence that toxic sediments and seaweeds in Sydney Harbour are a deadly diet for many sea creatures."

Hit-and-run driver sues city over car damages.

This guy = dick.

From NY Daily News:

A Coney Island businessman is suing the city for damaging the Bentley he was driving when he killed a Brooklyn dad in a hit-and-run accident.

Harry Shasho, who pleaded guilty to leaving the scene of an accident, says the NYPD failed to safeguard the battered black 2005 Bentley GT luxury sedan that was impounded as evidence of the fatal crash. He's asking for at least $190,000.

[...] Shasho says the Bentley was in "excellent condition ... with no noticeable defects or damage" when he turned himself in, according to the suit filed in Brooklyn Federal Court.

The police report tells a different story.

It describes the car as crumpled and the windshield "depressed and fractured" by the violent impact with Couch that left his body parts strewn across the street.

The suit seeks damages from the city, the NYPD and the Brooklyn district attorney's office.

Beijing's tacky nightmare over.

Feel like you have something to prove? Have the need to overcompensate? Have no sense of understatement or class? Congratulations, you are China!

Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that this crap is finally over. Now I can finally go back to less cheesy NBC programming, like.. umm.. Will & Grace and Mad About You.

Mexico finds its porpoise.

Leave it to Happy News to fill my bleak soul with some hope for mankind. They report that Mexico will invest millions to save an endangered species of porpoise, of which only 150 or fewer still exist. In case you are unaware, porpoises are really, really cute.

Illegal immigrants in USA shrunk by 11%.

I'm sure FOX News was elated to report that illegal immigrants are moving back to Mexico in record numbers. In fact, 1.3 million people have left the US since last year.

Some are pointing at the weakening US economy, but harsher enforcement and intimidation is a more likely cause.

Coozer Prophesy: NYC earthquake explosion + nuclear explosion.

Not to panic you while enjoying a beautiful Sunday picnic in Central Park, but... we're all going to die.

Seismologists - who are GENIUS SCIENTISTS - have figured out that an earthquake is going to hit NYC at any moment. Worse, you know the Indian Point nuclear power point, just north of NYC? Well, it sits bull's eye-style right on some earthquake fault lines.

So not only is there going to be mass devastation, but a nuclear plant is going to be involved, and I assure you, it'll be the biggest mass implosion since the 2007 Mets.

Horrifying story here.

On drinking alone Pt. II.

In marketing theory, each person has four identities that are never fully integrated. In fact, they are all incongruent, and attempting to assimilate them is extremely stressful if not impossible:

1. How you view yourself.
2. How you would like to view yourself.
3. How others view you.
4. How you would like others to view you.

The exercise, though, is less about self-actualization but how to manipulate people to buy your product and become loyal to a brand. But I often think about these four ideals.

And thinking about it, it becomes clear that identity is hard to pin down.

On drinking alone on a beautiful Sunday.

I stayed in today, all day, thinking I would review some CDs and books for ReadJunk, as well as clean the apartment thoroughly, because I'm a firm believer that a cluttered home means a cluttered life. Unfortunately, my apartment is always non-clean (I don't want to say "unclean" - sounds too religious) and extremely, hopelessly cluttered.

After a half-hearted effort in putting three dozen unread magazines (Game Informer, EGM, Wine Spectator, Bon Appetit) into a singular pile, I decided the best way to clear up some surface space was to get all these bottles off my living room floor. These annoying bottles are/were filled with rum of varying quality.

I am extremely drunk now, not even 2 pm. I'm drunk enough to speak freely, but still have my wherewithal to type and be able to spell "wherewithal" without having to retype it more than five times.

So here are my big thoughts about being drunk on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, alone in my apartment and figuring out what to do with my day/life:

1. Will Ferrell is actually a good actor - and even quite endearing - but only when he plays the straight man, such as in "Stranger Than Fiction" or to a lesser degree "Melinda and Melinda". If you decide to watch Stranger Than Fiction - and you should - watch it drunk.

2. Nothing infuriates me more than on the rare occasion that I can't get my butt my clean, no matter how much I wipe. I don't mean this to be scatalogically edgy or infantiley funny. Sometimes, it seems like my butt will always have poop in it. It sounds silly, but the frustration is as real and serious as a heart attack. After some deep-butt excavation, I'm wondering if maybe certain areas of my butt are very hairy, harboring fecal matter in hard-t0-reach places, not unlike Osama bin Laden in Pakistani mountain crevices. And after smashing my fist down on my bathroom sink and swearing at the gods, it occurred to me - what if I'm just totally OCD in my butt cleanliness and other people don't care as much? Maybe due to some weird childhood trauma, I believe the norm is to have a completely white toilet paper swath, while other people just give up once blood appears. If you could leave a comment on the matter, I'd greatly appreciate it. You can leave a comment anonymously, you know.

3. After that last outburst, I really want to drink some more and forget I wrote that. I'll add more Deep Thoughts later, unless I sober up.