Koozer's Kitchen: Ricotta Gnocchi with Pesto

Okay, time for the big guns. This is how you get that barista girl to fall in love with you, since the kidnapping and Rush album rockathon didn't work. This gnocchi is so good, I've been mistaken for French (nevermind it's an Italian dish - my friends aren't smart).

LITTLE PILLOWS OF DOUGHY GOODNESS (w/ pesto)

PESTO

Start with the pesto; fridge it if you need to while making the gnocchi.

1. In a food processor, add two bunches of basil leaves, 2 garlic cloves, 3 or 4 oil-cured black olives, a pinch of hot pepper flakes, a handful of pine nuts, olive oil, and a bunch of arugula leaves. I blanch the arugula first to make it less bitter. To do so, boil water, throw arugula in for a minute, take out and run under cold water so it stops cooking, then wring out the arugula and get all the water out. That huge bunch of arugula will end up looking like a small cat turd. That's a good thing.

2. Process the mixture, adding olive oil as necessary.

3. Move to bowl and fold in 1/2 cup of grated pecorino romano.

GNOCCHI

I'm really bad with measurements. Try this out and keep extra flour and ricotta on hand to even it out. Too sticky, add flour. Too dry, add ricotta. Too boring, add 2 Fast 2 Furious.

1. Okay, don't sue me if these measurements suck or cause illness. Try 2 cups of flour (use good quality stuff, like King Arthur), 1/2 - 2/3 cup of grated pecorino romano, and a small tub of ricotta.

2. Use your hands and mix together. Don't overwork it - just knead it gently, like a young woman's buttocks. When it's a nice big ball of dough that isn't too sticky or too dry, take small slabs and roll out with your hands, pressing gently. Roll each slab into a chubby worm the thickness of a highlighter (man, where have I heard THAT before!). Take a butter knife and slice off at 1" intervals. They'll look like little pillows. If you want to get fancy, press down gently with a fork for that cool gnocchi pronged indent look.

3. Boil water. Throw in your gnocchi and keep an eye on it. As soon as the gnocchi start floating to the top, scoop out with a slotted spoon. Put on plate and mix with pesto. Laugh maniacally as people eat it. (You should laugh maniacally in any social setting.)