Game: Tombscape

Fun point-n-click adventure game with some shooting elements. I got up to the giant spider but kept running out of ammo.

Tombscape.

Tip: For the swinging blades in the beginning, wait until they're all the way to the extreme side. Time it well!

Addendum: Oh, I beat the spider and that's the end of the game. The trick is to shoot it just as it spits up a web - that does damage and usually drops more ammo. My high score: 221,510.

One-legged hooker killed in Brooklyn.

This is sad. From NY Post:

A one-legged hooker was killed in Brooklyn after a john hit her over the head, causing her to fall backwards out of her wheelchair and slam her skull against the wall, cops said yesterday.

[...] Acevedo - who lost her leg in a train accident - had a rap sheet with 67 arrests for prostitution and drug charges.

She wore a prosthetic leg, but also used a wheelchair.

Investigators believe she had been servicing a client in the hallway who then hit her on the head with a heavy object. Police were still looking for a suspect.

Coozer-Bits.

ABC News: Dr. Drew's rehab center has had three mysterious deaths and a rape.

News.com.au: Australia's news site has a weird homophobic article about how "real" men are back in vogue and "nancy boy" metrosexual's "days are numbered."

Boston Globe: Tens of thousands in MA lost their health insurance because of errors.

Yahoo! Canada: A more welcoming error: OK worker gets $850,000 bonus instead of $850.

Yahoo! Canada: Polish mobile company paid actors to stand in iPhone lines to stimulate interest.

LiveScience: Who is this man and what did he do to George W. Bush?? Bush seeks to protect remote island chains, which "would rank as one of the largest marine conservation efforts in history."

BBC News: North Korea develops super noodle that staves off hunger.

Garlic bread that turns blue recalled in Australia.

An Australian food company that supplies bread to Pizza Hut and Domino's has pulled its garlic bread after discovering it turns blue when heated up. No one has any idea why.

But seriously - if you're eating at Pizza Hut and Domino's, blue garlic bread is the least of your worries.

Rice bran contains dangerous levels of arsenic.

Per New Scientist:

Rice bran – a so-called "superfood" – might contain dangerous amounts of a natural poison.

A new study suggests that rice bran, the shavings left over after brown rice is polished to produce white rice grains, contains "inappropriate" levels of arsenic. Andrew Meharg at the University of Aberdeen, UK, and colleagues found that the levels of arsenic in rice bran products available on the internet and used in food-aid programmes funded by the US government would be illegal in China – the only country in the world to have standards for how much arsenic is permissible in food.

Actually, it's the last line that interests me. China, of all countries, is the only one with arsenic standards for its food?? China, the country that exports lead and poison under the guise of toys and pet food??

Trend Spotting: Kidnapping in Mexico.

Kidnappings in Mexico have become so bad (40% increase since 2004), that Mexicans are flocking to get microchip tracking implants. Not just the super-rich, but middle-class Mexicans are starting to get them too. The only problem? The technology is unproven and likely worthless. Story here.

Wisconsin couple keeps winning the lotto.

In other Wisconsin news, these folks are a bit luckier. Or sneakier.

This couple has had four winning lotto tickets last week, totaling $1.4 million. The husband claims to have figured out a mathematical formula and strategy for winning the lotto, "But Steven Post, a mathematics professor at Edgewood College in Madison, said there is no way to devise a strategy for finding the winning numbers in a game that uses randomly generated numbers to determine the winning combination."

Something stinks in Wisconsin, and I don't mean the Packers. In any case, I want in.

Wisconsin woman jailed for overdue library books.

From Ananova:

A US woman has been arrested and handcuffed for failing to pay fines for two overdue library books.

Heidi Dalibor, of Grafton, Wisconsin, is the first to admit that she ignored calls and letters from her local library.

She also admits that she ignored a notice to appear in municipal court or pay the fine, reports the News Graphic.

The interesting thing is that she only owed about $25 in late fees. It cost her about $150 to be bailed out.

Straight-edge ninjas fight drugs in NJ (and get arrested).

Who says nothing cool ever happens in New Jersey? These two awesome dweebs dressed as ninjas, sported nunchuks, throwning stars, and smoke bombs (!), and wrote threatening letters...

...to those who ignored their warnings and continued to smoke pot or, worse yet, persuaded others to try the drug.

They planned to drop the letters at the doors of friends, including one they accused of supplying the drugs to others. As assurance against counterattacks, they brought along homemade smoke bombs they'd concocted from instructions on YouTube.

But the art of the ninja, based on stealth and cunning, failed them.

At their first stop, the modern-day vigilantes delivered their fearful missives under the watchful eye of two Clifton patrolmen who happened to be standing in the shadows.

I love this part.

The letters stated "Shinobi will stop your cruel and sadistic intentions with justified, yet merciful force." The correspondence accused pot smokers and drug dealers of having "committed sin of passing impurity" to others. It also said the "wind guides us to those of impure heart and intent."

I want to bail these kids out and hang out with them.

(Originally spotted on Gothamist.)

Hot Pockets recalled for containing plastic.

Spotted this on Consumerist. Nestlé has recalled 200,000 pounds (100 tons!) of Hot Pockets Pepperoni Pizza after reports of plastic pieces being discovered in those little zesty pouches of heaven.

The recall is for 54-ounce, 12-pack cartons of Hot Pockets Pepperoni Pizza with the following printed on the sides of each carton: “8157544614D,” “EST 7721A” and “BEST BEFORE JAN2010.”

If you have some of the recalled product, spit out that plastic and call Nestlé Consumer Services Center at 1-800-350-5016.

GET OUT AND VOTE (for Jelly Belly).

Look, I know you're apathetic about the process and feel that your vote doesn't count. I know you once cared and were greatly disappointed. But you can't give up. You need to get over your cynicism and HAVE YOUR VOICE HEARD. I'm talking, of course, about Jelly Belly's new flavor.

According to my fave blog, Candy Addict (who, by the way, came up with their own ingenious "Girly Beans"), Jelly Belly has asked the public for flavor suggestions. They received 200,000 ideas, and whittled them down to five: Sublime Chili Lime, Honey, Thai Iced Tea, Mojito, and Acai Berry.

Vote for your candidate, but The Coozer Files strongly endorses Thai Iced Tea. The Thai Iced Tea Jelly Belly would turn this country around and give us hope for change.

This is Adam Coozer and I approve this message.

Coozer-Bits

The Independent: UK's economy grinds to a halt.

BBC News: The next world war is going to be over water (video). This should be a Coozer Prophesy. I've been talking about this for years while people mocked and threw water bottles at me!

Breitbart: Madagascar hissing cockroaches predict McCain win.

Breitbart: British government loses data of EVERY prisoner in England and Wales.

LiveScience: NYC is very much due for a major earthquake. (Another Coozer Prophesy, but I'm too lazy to start another post. Just take my word for it - we're doomed.)

Spinach to get zapped.

Per Reuters, the FDA is allowing spinach and lettuce to be zapped with radiation. They say radiating food is safe, but this guy begs to differ.

Sony announces $500 160GB PS3

Glad I've held off so far, as $500 for a 160GB console sounds more reasonable than their previous price points. But will it be backwards compatible...? From BBC News:

A 160 GB PS3 was unveiled at the Leipzig games conference that will go on sale on 31 October in Europe and November in the US.

[...] The new 160 GB PS3 will be sold as a bundle that includes a limited edition of Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, and will go on sale 31 October for 449 euros (£355), and shortly thereafter in the US for $500.

Argentine dog saves baby.

Animals rule. From BBC News:

An eight-year dog has touched the hearts of Argentines by saving the life of an abandoned baby, placing him safety alongside her own new puppies.

He was born prematurely to a 14-year-old girl in a shanty town outside the capital, Buenos Aires. She is said to have panicked and abandoned the boy in a field, surrounded by wooden boxes and rubbish.

Then along came La China, the dog which somehow picked up the baby and carried him 50m to place him alongside her own puppies.

This is really sad though:

La China, worried about her own puppies, is reported to be petrified by her new found fame, and her owner says he is worried that she is not eating.

Maybe Eliot Spitzer should give the keynote address?

Perhaps not surprisingly, the sex business is expected to boom during both political conventions. ABC News has the report.

Fishy fraud in NYC.

Two teens discovered via DNA sampling that up to 1/4 of fish in NYC stores and restaurants are cheaper species than as labeled.

From Reuters:

Up to a quarter of fish in stores and restaurants in New York City was mislabeled as a more expensive variety, according to samples collected by two U.S. teenagers and tested with modern genetic identification methods.

In the worst cases, two samples of filleted fish sold as red snapper, caught mostly off the southeast United States and in the Caribbean, were instead the endangered Acadian redfish from the North Atlantic, according to the tests, revealed on Friday.

[...] The two classmates from New York's Trinity school collected and sent off 60 fish samples to the University of Guelph in Canada. Of 56 samples that could be identified by a four-year-old DNA identification technique, 14 were mislabeled.

In all cases, the fish was labeled as a more costly type, apparently ruling out simple chance.

British theaters to ban popcorn.

You know, first these snooty Brits smoke their pipes in their tweed jackets, then they export over crap like Howard's End and penny farthings. Now no more popcorn at the movies?

I do say, good sir, this is an outrage! The Viscount of Essex shall hear of it! Quite so!

JetBlue to keep your mind off your 8-hour delay.

JetBlue's new food court at JFK is ridiculously chic-chic. Daring designs for a US airport, but I'd be happier if their planes simply left on time.

Check out the pics here.

Master of his domain name.

Per AdWeek, Microsoft has tapped Jerry Seinfeld for their new $300 million ad campaign (Jerry will get $10m).

Because nothing competes with hip, fresh Apple than an aging comedian from the 90s.

Fake restaurant wins Wine Spectator's Award of Excellence.

Consumerist found a funny story about a guy who created a fake restaurant website and online menu/wine list and submitted it to Wine Spectator, who gave the wine list its "Award of Excellence." The kicker?

The best part is that Mr. Goldstein included "the lowest-scoring Italian wines in Wine Spectator over the past 20 years."

"I didn’t have any empirical evidence of the quality of the restaurants other than my own impressions,” he said. “I wanted to see what the standards of the Awards of Excellence were. The results speak for themselves."

So does Wine Spectator give this Award of Excellence to anyone and everyone who submits a list? Very likely, and here's why:

Dr. Vino also notes that in a Times article from 2003, a reporter estimated that Wine Spectator was bringing in $625,275 from the award each year-- and that was when the application fee was only $175.

Anonymous donor interested in freeing SeaWorld animals.

This guy is my hero. PETA has announced that it has a mystery donor who is interested in buying all the SeaWorld animals so they can be freed. The donor would also use his money to replace the animals with virtual reality or animatronic displays (hopefully of the Chuck E. Cheese variety - the world needs a dolphin-robot jug band).

Look, I get it that SeaWorld provides educational services and rehabilitates some animals. But if this donor were to actually come through (assuming he's got billions of dollars), I have to say it's money well spent.

Unless of course the coddled, bred-in-captivity animals get immediately eaten in the wild.

PeaceCorps for nerds.

Just read about these guys today through Idealist.org. GeekCorps is a nonprofit that assists developing countries with their techie and IT needs. They've so far got 3,500 ICT experts willing to volunteer long-term in other countries.

I think this is really neat. I've always wanted to do PeaceCorps but was too lazy/physically inadequate to do things like carry buckets of water from a well to a town 10 miles away. Not that I know how to set up telecommunications infrastructure, but I'm happy to teach the children of the world how to set up an ugly blog.

Scientists: The Flying Spaghetti Monster is real!

Dear Sweet Marinara! Scientists have not only confirmed the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but they've even discovered that He lives in space and is powered by magnetic fields. And His noodly appendage may be even more powerful than we Pastafarians originally thought. Scientists are even calling Him... the Galactic Spaghetti Monster!

Read the amazing article here.

And believe.

PSA: Be wary of diet supplements for pets.

The National Academies reports that regulations on dietary supplements for pets are in "disarray", and certain supplements or amounts may be unsafe. From the report:

The report stresses that clear and precise regulations need to be established so "only safe animal dietary supplements are allowed on the market." An improved adverse event reporting system for animal dietary supplements would help, because existing systems have various deficiencies, including limited public access, passive rather than active solicitation of adverse events, and unclear discrimination of minor versus serious adverse events.

Additionally, the "generally recognized as safe" designation used for both human and animal ingredients is helpful in determining safe intake levels, but safety in humans does not guarantee safety in animals, the committee noted. For example, excess garlic intake can cause hemolytic anemia in horses, dogs, and cats, but this adverse effect has not been reported in humans.

Sleazefest: When politicians are also car dealers.

Politicians are pretty horrible people, but when they also own car dealerships? From CREW:

Rep. Vern Buchanan (R-FL) owns several car dealerships in Florida. In September 2005, dealership employees were pressured into contributing to Rep. Buchanan’s congressional campaign and some were reimbursed for making contributions. Former employee Carlo Bell was called into a manager’s office and told that if he was part of the “team” he would make a contribution. Fearing for his job, Bell agreed to make the donation and was handed $1,000 in cash. Bell also saw two other employees, Jack Prater and Jason Martin take cash in return for promising to write checks and FEC reports confirm that both men made $1,000 contributions to the Buchanan campaign.

Dealership employee D.J. Padilla was told that any employee who donated to the campaign committee would be repaid, but he refused to participate knowing that accepting repayment for a contribution is illegal.

New Miyazaki film a riff on Little Mermaid.

I've never been so excited about a film about children and mermaids. This needs to come stateside NOW. From Reuters:

"Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea", about the friendship between a five-year-old boy and a mermaid girl who wishes to live in his world, has become one of the most popular Japanese movies in its home market in its first month of release.

Box office sales have surpassed 10 billion yen ($91 million), and the film's theme tune features as a ringtone on thousands of Japanese mobile phones.

The film is also set to be shown at the Venice Film Festival, which starts next week, and then it will be distributed in the United States, said a spokesman for Japanese distributor, Toho Co Ltd, although details have not been set.

China sentences 2 old women to hard labor for ASKING to protest.

Two old women, 77 and 79, had their homes demolished for the Beijing Olympics. They visited the police a handful of times to simply REQUEST a permit to protest. That led to their arrest and sentencing to a year of hard labor.

Still enjoying the Olympics?

No more annoying pre-recorded telemarketing!

Huzzah! O Glorious Day!

The Federal Trade Commission has just announced that telemarketers can no longer call you or your voice mail incessantly with irritating prerecorded messages:

The Federal Trade Commission today announced two amendments to the Telemarketing Sales Rule (TSR). One will expressly bar telemarketing calls that deliver prerecorded messages, unless a consumer previously has agreed to accept such calls from the seller. The other related technical amendment modifies the TSR's method of calculating the maximum permissible level of "call abandonment."

The amendments will not affect consumers' ability to continue to receive calls that deliver purely "informational" prerecorded messages - notifying recipients, for example, that their flight has been cancelled, that they have a service appointment, or similar messages. Such purely "informational" calls are not covered by the TSR because they do not attempt to sell the called party any goods or services.

"Just like the provisions of the Do Not Call Registry, these changes will protect consumers' privacy," said FTC Chairman William E. Kovacic. "The amendments now directly enable consumers to choose whether they want to receive prerecorded telemarketing calls."

I want to meet the lonely schmo who WANTS to receive those calls.

Coozer-Bits.

Moscow Times: While the US worked on its rhetoric, it was France who stepped up and brokered the Russia-Georgia cease-fire.

New Scientist: You can gauge someone's aggression by their width-to-height face ratio. Or the fact that they're kicking your nerdy ass.

New Scientist: Polygamy is the key to a longer life. (And presumably a lot more shoes. C'mon, women be shopping, amirite?)

LiveScience: Bugs smell funny.

EurekAlert: 79 million Americas are in medical bill debt.

OSU Research: Hot tomatoes can help fight cancer.

Reuters: DEET doesn't kill mosquitoes - they just find it stinky.

Is eBay moving away from auctions, toward instant buying?

Over the past couple of years, eBay has been pushing its Buy It Now option. They continue to add incentives to get sellers to choose Buy It Now over the traditional auction format, this time cutting seller's fees.

I'm bummed about this. Sure, Buy It Now is faster and more convenient (and faster for eBay to take its slice too), but where's the fun? "Buy It Now" is the same one-click shopping you can do anywhere, and it would be a shame if eBay ignored its auctions for this model.

Maybe I'm alone on this -- Buy It Now currently makes up 43% of sales on eBay and growing!

Afghan women jailed 20 years for being rape victims.

Awful.

From The Independent:

Ostracised from her family and village, Saliha was convicted of escaping from home and illegal sexual relations. The first carries a maximum penalty of 10 years, the second 20. These are two of the most common accusations facing female prisoners in Afghanistan.

Two-thirds of the women in Lashkar Gah's medieval-looking jail have been convicted of illegal sexual relations, but most are simply rape victims – mirroring the situation nationwide. The system does not distinguish between those who have been attacked and those who have chosen to run off with a man.

[...] Colonel Ghulam Ali, a high-ranking regional security officer, explained sternly that he supported the authorities' right to convict victims of rape. "In Afghanistan whether it is forced or not forced it is a crime because the Islamic rules say that it is," he claimed.

Scientist buys $20 fossil on ebay, discovers new species.

From BBC News:

A scientist who bought a fossilised insect on the web auction site eBay for £20 has discovered that it belongs to a previously unknown species of aphid.

Dr Richard Harrington, vice-president of the UK's Royal Entomological Society, bought the fossil from an individual in Lithuania.

He then sent it off to an aphid expert in Denmark, who confirmed the insect was a new species, now extinct.

The bug was ultimately named after the scientist, but I like his original plan:

"I had thought it would be rather nice to call it Mindarus ebayi," said Dr Harrington. "Unfortunately using flippant names to describe new species is rather frowned upon these days."

New poll shows that US voters are drooling morons.

McCain ahead by 5 points. Huh?

The poll shows McCain taking a 46-41 lead over the Illinois senator, which is a reversal from the 7-point advantage Obama enjoyed when the same poll was conducted in July, according to Reuters.

What is likely most troubling for Democrats is that McCain has taken the lead in that poll -- 49 percent to 40 percent -- on the question of which candidate would be the best manager of the economy.

Apple admits that iPod Nano can overheat.

Follow-up from a Coozer-Bit about how the Nano is setting all of Tokyo on fire. Well, there's only been two reported cases, but as we know from the gyoza incident, no product-related problem in Japan is too small. From the BBC:

Apple has admitted that a battery fault had led to a small number of its first generation iPod Nanos overheating.

But it said that the problem was "rare", occurring in 0.001% of devices sold between 2005 and 2006 adding there had been no serious injuries or damage.

Top 10 albums by bands that start with "B."

1. Buzzcocks - "The Complete Singles Anthology"
2. Bouncing Souls - "Hopeless Romantic"
3. The Bongos - "Drums Along The Hudson"
4. Bluehearts - "Super Best"
5. Beck - "Guero"
6. Blue Oyster Cult - "Tyranny And Mutation"
7. Beastie Boys - "Check Your Head"
8. Brian Jonestown Massacre - "Give It Back"
9. Bad Manners - "Heavy Petting"
10. Boris the Sprinkler - "Gay"

But the 14-year-old in me cries out:

1. Blue Oyster Cult - "Fire Of Unknown Origin"
2. Black Sabbath - "Master Of Reality"
3. Blue Oyster Cult - "Tyranny And Mutation"
4. Blue Oyster Cult - "Secret Treaties"
5. Booker T & The MGs - "The Very Best Of..."
6. Beastie Boys - "Check Your Head"
7. Black Sabbath - "Sabotage"
8. Beastie Boys - "Paul's Boutique"
9. Black 47 - "Fire Of Freedom"
10. Beatles - "Rubber Soul"

Sometimes I think I was cooler at 14.

Solve world hunger by improving your vocabulary!

FreeRice.com donates 20 grains of rice for every word you get right. What's cool about this "game" is that unlike other click-this-button-to-save-the-world sites, you actually want to keep clicking and playing.

Check it out!

So far, I've donated 2,600 grains of rice and have learned that "entomophilous" means "pollinated by insects." My vocab level is 40. How did you do?

8/19/08: Open Comments

Every day (or whenever I remember), I'll create an open comments section where readers of the Coozer Files (Coozer-Philes?) can get together and talk about whatever they want. Some possible topics of conversation:

• Cool articles we should post here.
• That awesome movie you saw last night.
• Cool music we should know about.
• 101 delicious ways to cook rhubarb.
• Falling under my miasmal spell and obeying my murderous commands while trembling before the demonic shadows lurking within my blood-red eyes.
• Tips for job interviews!

Leave your comments and start some conversations!

Okay, someone start so I don't look like a dink.

Queens cops hospitalized from strange bug swarm.

The New York Post reports that "a massive swarm of creepy bugs infesting a Queens house sent two cops and the homeowner to the hospital yesterday, authorities said."

Apparently, there were so many bugs that the cops ran out screaming, covered head-to-toe in what has been described as "ticks or fleas." Now, I'm no entomologist, but ticks and fleas don't look very much alike. I wonder what exactly these cops found, and whether New York is safe.

We here at Coozer Files will keep an eye on developments should this turn into a Zombie Watch.

Stupid man sues "feminist" Columbia University.

This is the same doofus that's been suing bars for having 2-for-1 ladies nights. From the Daily News:

Anti-feminist lawyer Roy Den Hollander sued Columbia University Monday, accusing it of turning feminism into the school's religion - and teaching that men are "the primary cause for most, if not all, the world's ills."

[...] In a suit filed in Manhattan Federal Court, he complains that the Ivy League school in Morningside Heights uses federal money to fund a "religionist belief system called feminism."The class-action suit argues that Columbia's women's studies program demonizes men and exalts women to justify discrimination against men based on collective guilt.

The civil rights suit is the latest in a Hollander-led campaign attacking the alleged infringement of men's rights.

Yeah, how dare Columbia University - whose tenured faculty includes only 30% women who probably make 75 cents to the dollar - keep men down?!

Happy Meal(worm).

Man sues restaurant for giving him a 9-foot-long tapeworm. On one hand, it's good to hold restaurants accountable for their giant rectal parasites. On the other hand, I don't think I'd want to advertise worldwide the fact that I had a 9-foot-long tapeworm up my butt.

Most 9/11 charities struggling, closing down.

Per the Philanthropy News Digest, many 9/11 charities are no longer receiving funding and face closure. Many of the orgs relied on the American Red Cross who gave out their last $40 million this year.

Since many needs - like counseling and mental/physical health issues - are ongoing, this is quite sad.

Coozer-Bits.

Chicago Sun-Times: Newlyweds tasered, arrested.... twice.

Chicago Tribune: Tenant sets 77-year-old landlord on fire.

CNN: Big Oil spending record amounts to buy influence in DC.

CNN: Hide your children: Gary Glitter released from Vietnamese prison.

The Independent: Algeria bomb kills 43.

The Independent: iPod Nano causing fires in Japan.

New Scientist: Menstrual blood can save limbs.

Daily Mail: Drinking orange juice counteracts prescription drugs, making them useless.

Zombie Watch: Dead man remains standing for three days.

From Breitbart:

A funeral home used a special embalming treatment to keep the corpse of 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina standing upright for his three-day wake.

Dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, Pantoja was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother's living room.

His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: "He wanted to be happy, standing."

And yet I wonder why exactly he wanted to remain standing. Perhaps to better chase down humankind??

Wild dolphins begin walking on water.

If there's ever been any doubt that Jesus Christ was a dolphin, you should read this.

Interesting stuff:

A wild dolphin is apparently teaching other members of her group to walk on their tails, a behaviour usually seen only after training in captivity.

[...] "This indicates that they do learn from each other, which is not a surprise really, but it does also seem that they exhibit elements of what in humans we would call 'cultural' behaviour," said Dr Bossley.

"These are things that groups develop and are passed between individuals and that come to define those groups, such as language or dancing; and it would seem that among the Port River dolphins we may have an incipient tail-walking culture."

Dopey teenage pranksters charged with terrorism.

These two jokers aren't the sharpest cards in the deck, but charged with conspiracy to commit terrorism? I wonder if their being metalheads had something to do with it...

From ABC News:

Inspired by Heath Ledger's wicked portrayal of the Joker, who left playing cards at the scenes of his crimes, the two 18-year-olds allegedly wrote threatening messages on cards and left them at a local Wal-Mart and Kmart and under car windshields outside a Dairy Queen and an auto parts store on the weekend of Aug. 9-10, according to local police.

The prank ended up alarming dozens of people who found the cards, landed Dirico and Stafford in jail for a night and led to them being charged with conspiracy to commit an act of terrorism, a felony that carries a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison.

Daily News recommends organic binge drinking.

This responsible reporter plays scientist and experiments by binge drinking for two days. The pictures of him trying to drunkenly chat up bar patrons is amusing.

Russian activist faces two years for blog.

From the Moscow Times:

Kemerovo prosecutors have opened a criminal investigation into the activities of an opposition activist, following allegations that he made offensive comments about law enforcement officers in a blog.

The blogger, Dmitry Solovyov, coordinator of the Kemerovo region branch of the Oborona movement, faces up to two years in prison if charged and convicted.

Oborona's Moscow coordinator, Oleg Kozlovsky, said the case was an attempt to intimidate members of the movement, which has regularly participated in rallies staged by The Other Russia opposition coalition. "This is an attempt to put pressure on Oborona, both at the local and federal levels," Kozlovsky said Friday.

Solovyov is suspected of libeling and inciting hatred against police and Federal Security Service officers in his posts on LiveJournal, Kozlovsky said.

The Coozer Files would stand in solidarity with our oppressed bloggy brethren, but LiveJournal is SO 2002.

Ecotourists scare away endangered wildlife.

No matter what humans do, we screw things up. From New Scientist:

Even when they tiptoe discreetly through the undergrowth, nature lovers and ecotourists may be having an unexpectedly damaging impact on wildlife. A study of protected Californian forest has shown that hiking, wildlife-watching and similar low-impact activities are linked to a sharp drop in numbers of carnivores such as bobcats and coyotes.

"We saw dramatic, fivefold reductions in the native species," says Adina Merenlender of the University of California, Berkeley, who ran the study with Sarah Reed of the San Francisco-based Wilderness Society.

Ecotourism is big business. In 2004, it grew three times as fast as the tourist industry as a whole. One in five tourists now go on eco-holidays. It has been shown to have an impact on a range of species, from dolphins and dingoes to penguins and polar bears.

Video games make surgeons faster, more accurate.

I knew there would be some benefit to my having put 120 hours into Dragon Quest VIII. Now all I need is 10 years of medical school and a surgery practice. From Raw Story:

Playing video games improves manual dexterity among surgeons, making them faster and less likely to make mistakes, US researchers have said.

[...] Laparoscopic surgeons who played video games were 27 percent faster at advanced surgical procedures, and made 37 percent fewer errors, compared to their non-gaming colleagues, the study found.

Presumably, the laparoscopic surgeons also became better at carjacking and killing hookers.

Russia-Georgia Conflict 101.

The International Herald Tribune's article "How A Spat Became A Showdown" is a must-read that gets behind the headlines and explains why, how, and what is going on in Georgia.

From the article:

The story of how a 16-year, low-grade conflict over who should rule two small, mountainous regions in the Caucasus erupted into the most serious post-cold-war showdown between the United States and Russia is one of miscalculation, missed signals and overreaching, according to interviews with diplomats and senior officials in the United States, the European Union, Russia and Georgia. In many cases, the officials would speak only on the condition of anonymity.

It is also the story of how both Democrats and Republicans have misread Russia's determination to dominate its traditional sphere of influence.

As with many foreign policy issues, this one highlighted a continuing fight within the administration. Vice President Dick Cheney and his aides and allies, who saw Georgia as a role model for their democracy promotion campaign, pushed to sell Georgia more arms, including Stinger antiaircraft missiles, so that it could defend itself against possible Russian aggression.

On the other side, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley and William Burns, the new under secretary of state for political affairs, argued that such a sale would provoke Russia, which would see it as arrogant meddling in its turf, the officials and diplomats said.

They describe three leaders on a collision course. Bush, rewarding Georgia for its robust troop contribution to Iraq — a per-capita ratio higher than America's own troop contribution — promised NATO membership and its accompanying umbrella of American military support. Putin, angry at what he saw as American infringement right in his backyard, decided that Georgia was the line in the sand that the West would not be allowed to cross.

And Saakashvili, unabashedly pro-American, was determined to show, once and for all, that Georgia was no longer a vassal of Russia.

Zombie Watch: Biomed professor engineers "tailor-made body parts".

Ever have sentient intestines chase you down a street, leaping up and choking you to death before devouring your soul? Soon you will! From the NY Post:

Fingertips, noses and kidneys may someday be grown to your body's specifications, thanks to a recent Columbia University breakthrough.

Biomedical-engineering Professor Sam Sia and doctoral student Brian Gillette have figured out how to grow cells on a computer-designed latticework of collagen fibers.

"[This discovery] might lead to putting together tissues or whole organs," said Gillette.

Zombie Watch: Aborted baby reanimates after 5 hours in freezer.

From the Jerusalem Post:

A premature baby who was pronounced dead "came back to life" Sunday after five hours in Nahariya Hospital.

The baby girl, who was in a cooler at the hospital, suddenly showed signs of life and was being treated in the premature baby unit.

Doctors estimated that the cooler brought the fetus "back to life."

The mother, 26, from a Western Galilee village, was in the fifth month of her pregnancy when she underwent a series of tests, during which it was discovered that she was suffering from internal bleeding and that the embryo had ceased to show signs of life.

The woman underwent an abortion and the baby, weighing 610 grams, was extracted from her womb without a pulse, hospital officials said.

I am 100% pro-choice, and I hate being alarmist, but clearly aborted babies are rising up to exact their revenge.

LI public pays millions so politicians can have nice views.

Nassau County, perennially bankrupt even though it has the highest property taxes in the country, spent millions buying acres of open space land for the public. However, they never bothered to provide any information or access to the public. Some of the public land is fenced in, has threatening "No Trespassing" signs, and provides no access points or parking.

So why preserve this land?

"Red Spring Woods looks like a backyard," complained Legis. David Denenberg (D-Merrick), referring to the county's first open space purchase of 9 wooded acres in Glen Cove not far from County Executive Thomas Suozzi's home. "I'd hate to think we used $4 million to buy people's backyards that we can't go on."

[...] At Red Spring Woods, purchased in September 2006, there were no signs identifying the acreage as public property and no obvious paths to enter the parcel, which is ringed by homes.

Ah.

Franz Kafka kept Kafka-esque porn stash.

Not that I expected milk and cookies from Kafka, but he sure got his freak on:

A collection of pornography belonging to Franz Kafka has been discovered in the British Library in London and the Bodleian in Oxford. It appears that the stash had been concealed by scholars in an attempt to preserve the writer's image.

[...] "These are not naughty post-cards from the beach," Mr. Hawes was quoted as saying in the Times of London, to counter any objections that Kafka would never have gone in for this sort of thing. "They are undoubtedly porn, pure and simple. Some of it is quite dark. It's quite unpleasant."

Raw sewage to irrigate world's farms.

This sucks. Most vegetables already taste like poop.

The future may not smell too rosy – it may lie in sewage. As cities and industries suck up ever more of the world’s scarce water resources, agriculture is destined to rely increasingly on recycling the contents of urban sewers, according to a new international study of “wastewater agriculture”.

The good news – for farmers at least – is that the irrigation water from sewers comes with free fertiliser in the form of the nitrates and phosphates bound up in human faeces. The bad news is that this coprological cornucopia is filling vegetables sold in city markets with heavy metals, pathogenic bacteria and worms.

An estimated one fifth of the world’s food is growing in urban areas, with perishables like vegetables to the fore. But a 50-city study by the International Water Management Institute (IWMI) – a World Bank-backed research agency based in Sri Lanka – finds that often the only source of the essential irrigation water to grow many of those crops is city sewage.

Chew on this.

Syria hiding nuclear reactor under concrete.

Talk about sweeping something under the (Persian) rug. Jerusalem Post reports that Syria avoided Non-Proliferation Treaty violations by hiding a plutonium-producing nuclear reactor under tons of cement. Article here.

Follow-Up: Tainted dumplings still front-page news in Japan.

There's the Olympics, Russia going apeshit on its neighbors, Godzilla about to awake at any moment, and Japanese media and politics are still obsessed with the Chinese-made gyoza that got only 10 people sick.

From the front page of Japan Times:

Foreign Minister Masahiko Komura said Sunday he agreed with a senior Chinese official that the two countries should boost cooperation to solve food poisoning cases involving Chinese-made "gyoza" dumplings.

Komura said that during talks with State Councilor Dai Bingguo, he also urged Beijing to exert its leadership in the six-party process for denuclearizing North Korea, which is facing the question of how to verify nuclear information provided by Pyongyang.

"The dumpling issue is a very important problem from the point of view of the feelings of the two countries," Komura said at a Beijing hotel. "We agreed to speed up cooperation and exchange of opinions between the countries' investigative authorities."

The second paragraph is what amazes me. The foreign ministers are together in a room to discuss NORTH KOREA'S THREATS OF NUCLEAR WAR, and Japan and China are still bickering over crappy frozen dumplings.

I can just imagine the conversation:

Japan: I am glad we are all here to discuss North Korea's nuclear ambitions and their danger to all living things on the planet. But first. Would anyone like a delicious, Chinese-produced gyoza that has... pesticides on it??

China: You bastard! Your dumplings, your problem!

Japan: If you're not responsible, eat one! I dare you.

China: Our chefs are all in America, working at Fresco Tortilla. We had nothing to do with this!

Russia: Hey, North Korea, while no one's looking, wanna take over the Ukraine with us? We'll give you Azerbaijan.

North Korea: Sure. Oh, hey, thanks for the enriched uranium.

United States: What's a gyoza? I can has cheezburger? LOLZ.

China confiscates bibles from American Christians.

The article title sounds inflammatory, but I think China's in the right. These were four annoying missionaries trying to smuggle in and spread hundreds of bibles in a country that doesn't want them, and is probably better off without them.

Anyway, here's the article. I like one of the comments:

Brian77008 wrote: Perhaps China's actions weren't anti-religious. Perhaps their actions were anti-tackiness.

Batman: Arkham Asylum announced.

Eidos Interactive (Tomb Raider, Age of Conan, Lego Star Wars) has just announced a new Batman game for the 360, PS3, and PC that sounds halfway decent. From GameInfoWire:

In Batman: Arkham Asylum, developed by Rocksteady Studios, the player assumes the role of Batman as he delivers The Joker to Arkham Asylum. There, the imprisoned super-villains have set a trap and an immersive combat gaming experience unfolds. With an original script penned by Emmy Award-winning Batman writer Paul Dini, the game brings the universe of DC Comics’ detective to life with stunning graphics.

“In Batman: Arkham Asylum Eidos and Warner Bros. are building a true action adventure game experience worthy of gamers and fans,” said Phil Rogers, CEO of Eidos Interactive. “Players become Batman, like he has never been seen before in a video game, as he fights through intense circumstances in Arkham Asylum utilizing his intuitive detective skills and aggressive melee attacks.”

This could be a cool game if the environment isn't a repetitive dark, sludgy dungeon kind of thing. And if Bookworm is in it. The Batman franchise is nothing without Bookworm.

Portal discovered to mythical underworld, John Malkovich.

This is so amazingly awesome that I've got to quote most of the first whole damn page. I love news like this that makes us realize that life thousands of years ago was way cooler and interesting than our world now. I mean, the Mayans didn't have internet porn or Canadian power rock trio Rush, but they sure knew how to build some crazy shit to accommodate their wild imaginations. Super cool shit in bold. There is a lot of bold.

Mexican archeologists have discovered a maze of stone temples in underground caves, some submerged in water and containing human bones, which ancient Mayans believed was a portal where dead souls entered the underworld.

Clad in scuba gear and edging through narrow tunnels, researchers discovered the stone ruins of eleven sacred temples and what could be the remains of human sacrifices at the site in the Yucatan Peninsula.

Archeologists say Mayans believed the underground complex of water-filled caves leading into dry chambers -- including an underground road stretching some 330 feet -- was the path to a mythical underworld, known as Xibalba.

According to an ancient Mayan scripture, the Popol Vuh, the route was filled with obstacles, including rivers filled with scorpions, blood and pus and houses shrouded in darkness or swarming with shrieking bats, Guillermo de Anda, one of the lead investigators at the site, said on Thursday.

The souls of the dead followed a mythical dog who could see at night, de Anda said.

[...] The Mayans built soaring pyramids and elaborate palaces in Central America and southern Mexico before mysteriously abandoning their cities around 900 A.D.

"Chinese Democracy" to be Wal-Mart exclusive?

According to Reuters, GnR is in talks to make their long-awaited (by who anymore?) album exclusive to Wal-Mart or Best Buy. Presumably, it'll be exclusive to their bargain bins.

2 weeks. 100 posts.

I AM THE WORLD'S GREATEST BLOGGER!

I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!!!

Worst parents ever.

These lame parents disciplined their unruly kids by breaking into their room, stealing their XBOX, and hammering it to a tree. And then they smugly posted about it.

Maybe they should learn how to discipline their kids more productively instead of being total douchebags.

Canadian zombies demand brains poutine.

Once again, Canada is awash with zombies. From Yahoo! Canada:

A crowd of people covered in fake blood and guts - many yelling for brains - met at the city's art gallery and did a loop through the busy downtown, acquiring many puzzled looks along the way.

Part art project, part meaningless fun, the so-called ZombieWalk has been going on for several years.

Participants are encouraged to act as zombies and to communicate only in a manner consistent with zombie behaviour.

This part is telling:

[One participant] says she came out because she finds that Vancouver doesn't have many fun things to do.

Canadians are turning into zombies out of boredom!!

50% of college students want to kill themselves.

Boston Globe reports:

More than half of 26,000 students from 70 colleges and universities who completed a survey on suicidal experiences reported having at least one episode of suicidal thinking during their lives.

Fifteen percent said they seriously considered acting on the thoughts and more than five percent reported making at least one suicide attempt.

They must major in melodrama.

Mayor of female-deprived city begs ugly women to move in.

The men in Mount Isa, a mining town in Australia, outnumber women by 5-to-1. As a result, the mayor is asking ugly women in other parts of Australia to move there, since they would likely meet desperate guys who will see passed their fugly looks.

From News.com.au:

But the quick-thinking mayor suggested these could be the perfect conditions for "ugly ducklings" to flourish into beautiful swans and find true happiness in the Isa.

"May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa," Cr Molony said.

"Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face. Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness.

"Often those who are beauty-disadvantaged are uphappy with their lot. Some, in other places in Australia, need to proceed to Mount Isa where happiness awaits. And, really, beauty is only skin deep. Isn't there a fairy tale about an ugly duckling that evolves into a beautiful swan?"

Classy.

Wes Anderson and Jason Schwartzmann shop for CDs & DVDs.

I love these guys, but this is as painful and unwatchable as The Darjeeling Limited.

US Airways forcefully abandons 274 passengers.

From The Consumerist:

Armed guards ordered 274 stranded passengers out of the Punta Cana airport with no place to go after bad weather forced U.S. Airways to cancel its flight from the Dominican Republic to Philadelphia. Several passengers ended up sleeping in a bus after the airline responded to Tropical Storm Fay by asking passengers to pick up their luggage and get lost.