Duh: Jack Cafferty is a boozehound.
Sad: DNA proves Bolsheviks killed all of the Romanovs, hurting my claim that I'm Anastasia.
WTF: Toddler, 20 months, crashes car.
Tech: Evil geniuses at Apple create talking iPod.
ZombieWatch: Man stages own funeral to ensure it goes to plan.
D'oh: "Look kids, Big Ben!" Woman saved from roundabout after going around it 50 times.
Creepy: Dracula fish, with sharp bone teeth, discovered.
Eats: Tasty Indian crackers celebrate their 50th year.
Neat: Museum finds secret message in Lincoln's watch. Soon to be an awful movie starring Nic Cage.
Hero: Yale student sues US Airways for $1m after they steal XBox 360 from his luggage.
Misc: In other airline bad behavior news, man sues American Airlines for revoking his lifetime fly pass.
Lame: Woman fired for reporting spanking.
Hot Cha Cha: Sermons are getting sexy in rural Alabama.
Awesome: Colonel Sanders rescued from river after 24 years. (Thanks JV!)
D'oh: Student stabbed with scissors at conflict resolution session.
Yipes: Chicago's nuclear waste now has nowhere to go. (Might I suggest a deep-dish pizzeria?)
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