Should you vote? Short answer, no. Voting is a pain in the ass. But long answer - hell yes! And here's why:
1. It will get you out of work.
Standing on a line with geriatrics for four hours might not be your idea of a good time, but it beats working for a place that doesn't give you Election Day off. And, you know what? If everyone took four hours to stand in line, all of those lame workplaces will give up and make it a holiday. A vote for president is a vote for a day off.
2. Some voting places have free cookies.
I recommend snagging the box off their information table and running into a voting booth with them. While they debate the legality of following you into a booth, you can use the opportunity to scarf them all down!
3. You can feel morally superior.
This is especially true if you can find or steal an "I Voted" button. Wear it proudly and look down your nose at the unwashed jerks who don't have a brightly colored 3" button that states their banal daily actions. I'm going to wear mine alongside my "I Give Blood" and "I Floss" buttons. Again, stolen, but who's got time for that crap?
4. You can vote for Ralph Nader out of irony.
Think about it - that's hilarious!
5. You should exercise your right as a citizen, a right for which millions of young people gave their lives.
Just kidding. Voting places are a great place to meet girls, and kissing booths are conveniently already set up!
2 comments:
funny list. Here's one I wrote up this morning after voting.
http://www.readjunk.com/blogs/bryan/voting-observations
#5 is actually true. I was surprised at the amount of cute girls that went to the polls.
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