Salads can be stupid. In addition, we're on the brink of autumn, when craisins and caramelized pears start appearing on our salad plates as if they were vegetables (they're not!). But I decided to keep summer going with a farro salad - the least stupid salad of them all!
FARRO SALAD FOR SMART PEOPLE
These amounts refer to a 15 oz. packet of farro, which feeds a LOT of people, or a few very fat people.
1. Put farro in big soup pot. Add 5 1/2 cups of water. Let sit for 20 minutes or so. I recommend watching a DVR'd episode of X-Play.
2. Bring to boil, then cover and simmer on low heat for 20 minutes or longer. You want the farro to be tender, but still hearty and nutty, like my crotch. When it's done, remove from heat, drain any extra water, and move to a big salad bowl. Let sit, the put in fridge to cool off.
3. While it's cooling in the fridge, add the following to another bowl: one red onion, thinly sliced; four tomatoes, seeded and chopped; one large, phallic-like cucumber, peeled and small diced; two celery stalks, small diced; 20 or so basil leaves, ripped; maybe 1/2 bunch of curly parsley, pulled off the stems and chopped.
4. When the farro is cold, toss in the veggies and herbs and drizzle in olive oil and red wine vinegar. I put a lot in, but if you're a pussy, start with a little and add to taste.
5. Serve to your neighbors while they patiently wait. Meanwhile, have your girlfriend ransack their apartment. Sell their jewelry for more farro.
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